I bet you know someone who is just eaten up with bitterness. Bitterness and anger for something that happened in the past.
I was thinking today about memories and how we can control what we remember. I have a brother and sister. We grew up in the same house, same parents and only three and a half year spread from the first to the last. I’m in the middle. It’s amazing how differently we remember some events. I bet most siblings could say the same thing.
So why do we remember differently? Do we choose what to remember and how to remember it? And if we do, why? It seems to me, we should view our memories as souvenirs, souvenirs of life. After all that’s what they are. Souvenirs are gifts we buy ourselves, usually on our travels. Or something someone else brings us from their travels. Mr. Webster defines souvenirs as “something kept as a token of remembrance, a memento”. So isn’t that what a memory is? A memory of our travel through life, something we have retained in our head that we can pull out and think about when we’re thinking of a person or a place or a time in our life.
Now when we buy objects as souvenirs, it’s always something pretty or special to us—something we like—something we want to remind us of a good time or place. Why can’t we do this with our memories? Pick and choose the good stuff, the pretty stuff—the good times, pleasant times. We would never buy a souvenir that we found ugly or caused us pain. So let’s be as discriminating about our memories.
You have heard someone say, I can’t believe he or she left me and hurt me so deeply. We could turn that around and say “you know ole so and so was great”. I really miss him or her but the added so much to my life. I’m glad I got to spend x years with him or her.
You may dread going into work because nobody appreciates what you do. You’re there for one reason and one reason only—the pay check. That’s great, remember how you felt the last time you treated yourself or paid a bill. That’s a good memory. So get up and say “I’m looking forward to today because next weekend I’m going to see that movie I’ve been wanting to see and my job provides me with the means to do it”. Or maybe there’s somewhere special you’ve always wanted to go. Sit down and plan how much it would cost. Now plan how long it will take to save the money. Get a calendar and start marking off the days. Save the money and greet each day with “I can’t wait to go to work today because I’ll be another day closer to my goal!
If you have a bad memory, trade it in for a good one, a souvenir. It may be a friend who let you down, just remember how many times they lifted you up. It may be a parent who was less than perfect—just be thankful they chose to have you and helped you to become the beautiful perfect person you are today. You are a person capable of forgiveness and who chooses to remember the good stuff—not only of them but of yourself. Remember you are good and strong and full of souvenirs.
As always may you be blessed with………………………………………………..
Peace and Love
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Hope
My blog space is all about peace and love and I try not to get too sad. However I heard a story today that made me gasp and hurt my heart to the very core. I think I shared the fact that I love NPR. I travel in my work and would go nuts if I didn’t have Diane Rheem, Dick Gordon and the rest of the gang to keep me company. My goal is to write a book someday and I know I will have arrived when I get on the Diane Rheem show.
Anyway, back to the topic. You know I am opposed to war. Mostly because of the senseless loss of life and the infringement on others beliefs. But today, I was reminded of the ugly things that go on outside the battle lines. Dick Gordon interviewed an 84 year old woman who had been a “comfort girl” for the Japanese officers during World War II. This is a perfect example of man’s inhumanity to man.
Japanese soldiers went into the homes of Korean families and took young unmarried girls. Ms. Kim was sixteen at the time. She did not know where she was being taken nor why. Her best friend and neighbor was also taken. They were taken to Taiwan and split into two groups. Ms. Kim was put in a house with six other girls. Each was put into a separate space separated by half walls. Beginning the very first day officers began coming in and raping her. The average day was 50 to 60 men. On weekends, more as many as seventy-three.
When Ms. Kim thought she could not take anymore, she would cry out but the officers did not care, just continued the abuse. This went on for seven years and did not end until the United States defeated Japan. When the war was over, only two of the girls were still alive. Some had killed themselves. Some had literally lost their minds. Dick asked Ms. Kim how she managed to live through such an ordeal. She said her parents prayed constantly for her return. She guessed that’s what saved her.
When asked why she kept it a secret for so long she said; first of all she wanted to spare her parents of the tragedy. She did not think they could deal with the truth. Secondly, she felt ashamed. She was and still is afraid of what people would think of her. She did not want to hear the whispers and the embarrassment.
So why speak out now? Ms. Kim has had medical problems every since the release. She had to have her uterus removed; which kept her from getting married because Korean women are expected to have children when married. She was told if she came out with the truth she could get government aid to help with medical problems and the constant hospital visits.
Dick asked her why she laughed when asked by a student what gave her hope. She said she couldn’t help but laugh because there is no hope. “How absurd to think I would have hope after such an ordeal. “I have no hope”. However, I will do what I can do to get the Japanese to make a formal apology. The Japanese deny this happened and contend the girls went with the soldiers willingly.
I only want to share “happily ever after” stories but this one struck a nerve. Here we are some sixty something years later and still fighting. My prayer is that young girls around the world are not experiencing this type of abuse. And certainly not from us! May we always treat one another with kindness and respect and always dream of a world filled with Peace and Love
Anyway, back to the topic. You know I am opposed to war. Mostly because of the senseless loss of life and the infringement on others beliefs. But today, I was reminded of the ugly things that go on outside the battle lines. Dick Gordon interviewed an 84 year old woman who had been a “comfort girl” for the Japanese officers during World War II. This is a perfect example of man’s inhumanity to man.
Japanese soldiers went into the homes of Korean families and took young unmarried girls. Ms. Kim was sixteen at the time. She did not know where she was being taken nor why. Her best friend and neighbor was also taken. They were taken to Taiwan and split into two groups. Ms. Kim was put in a house with six other girls. Each was put into a separate space separated by half walls. Beginning the very first day officers began coming in and raping her. The average day was 50 to 60 men. On weekends, more as many as seventy-three.
When Ms. Kim thought she could not take anymore, she would cry out but the officers did not care, just continued the abuse. This went on for seven years and did not end until the United States defeated Japan. When the war was over, only two of the girls were still alive. Some had killed themselves. Some had literally lost their minds. Dick asked Ms. Kim how she managed to live through such an ordeal. She said her parents prayed constantly for her return. She guessed that’s what saved her.
When asked why she kept it a secret for so long she said; first of all she wanted to spare her parents of the tragedy. She did not think they could deal with the truth. Secondly, she felt ashamed. She was and still is afraid of what people would think of her. She did not want to hear the whispers and the embarrassment.
So why speak out now? Ms. Kim has had medical problems every since the release. She had to have her uterus removed; which kept her from getting married because Korean women are expected to have children when married. She was told if she came out with the truth she could get government aid to help with medical problems and the constant hospital visits.
Dick asked her why she laughed when asked by a student what gave her hope. She said she couldn’t help but laugh because there is no hope. “How absurd to think I would have hope after such an ordeal. “I have no hope”. However, I will do what I can do to get the Japanese to make a formal apology. The Japanese deny this happened and contend the girls went with the soldiers willingly.
I only want to share “happily ever after” stories but this one struck a nerve. Here we are some sixty something years later and still fighting. My prayer is that young girls around the world are not experiencing this type of abuse. And certainly not from us! May we always treat one another with kindness and respect and always dream of a world filled with Peace and Love
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